Anonymous asked:
Dunno if you're still taking prompts, but here's one: You have to take care of your grandma's cats for a day. The only problem is that they all have powers.
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caffeinewitchcraft answered:
Mr. Snuffles is the ringleader, you’re sure of it. You brace your back against the bathroom door, sweat dripping from your hairline as yet another resounding thud tests the wood.
“Bad, Captain Niffler!” you shout, digging your feet into the linoleum as best you can. At the next attack, you risk lifting a foot long enough to brace it against the toilet. “No!”
“Mrow?” A more gentle thud this time and you know he’s brushing against the door instead of charging it. Brushing would be fine if he currently weren’t “hulked out” as it were, nearly five times the size of a normal cat.
You stay silent, hoping that he’ll lose interest. Sure enough, you hear his big, padded paws echoing on the hard wood as he wanders off in search of food. You heave a sigh of relief and slump against the door. You deserve this moment to collect yourself. You deserve it.
Outside the door, you hear the sound of a much smaller cat settling in to wait. Your mouth turns down and your fists clench.
“Alright, kitty,” you say, standing up. “That how you wanna play it?” You throw open the door to glare at the tabby splayed out on the hallway floor. “I can do this all day.”
You swear that Mr. Snuffles raises an eyebrow at you, against all reason. He lifts his hind leg up and starts to clean himself, dismissing you entirely.
You have never been so insulted in your entire life.
“Oh ho,” you say, bracing your hands on your hips. You think that two days in this house have done what four years of university could not; drive you insane. “Oh ho ho ho, you think this is over? This isn’t even a little over, you absolute… dog!”
Mr. Snuffles slowly lowers his leg and turns bright, green eyes on you. He stares up at you without blinking. “Meh?”
“Don’t you meh me,” you say. “I run your life, do you even understand that? Maybe you need a, a demonstration.” You chuckle, totally unhinged, and hope over him. “Too bad that you’ve all been so lethargic lately. I should really call the vet. I think he does home visits.”
You make it halfway down the hall before you trip over something soft. You crash to the floor, most of the impact falling on your elbow and left knees, and blink at the hardwood. You twist and see Catherine the Great stretched out to five or six feet across the hallway, looking at you apologetically.
“We were bros,” you tell her mournfully.
“Mew,” Catherine the Great says apologetically.
“ME-ow,” Mrr. Snuffles says, strutting up to where you’ve fallen. He steps delicately over Catherine the Great and sits himself primly in front of you. He begins to wash himself.
“Alright,” you concede. “The vet threat was a bit much.” You carefully untangle your legs from Catherine and sit up. “But Mr. Snuffles, you are not in charge. I am. And Grandma said I can’t let you bully me.”
Mr. Snuffles rolls his eyes and gently hits you with his tail.
You scowl. “I am so in charge.”
Catherine the Great coughs like she’s going to hack up a hairball. You get the feeling it’s to hide the cat-equivalent of a laugh.
You collapse backwards. “Worst house sitting job ever.”
Slinky, crawling across the ceiling, chooses that moment to drop right onto your stomach. All the air is forced out of your lungs and Catherine the Great makes another hairball sound.
Mr. Snuffles, when you look at him, is cleaning his paw with an air of satisfaction.
cat person: yeah dogs are cool but i just like cats better, y’know, dogs just aren’t for me
dog person: LOL OF COURSE I’M A DOG PERSON!! CATS ARE SO MEAN AND NASTY AND THEY DON’T LOVE YOU AND KILLED THE ECONOMY AND CAUSED ALL THE WORLD’S MAJOR WARS FUCK CATS LMFAO DOGS FOREVER!!!!1!1!1!
shout out to all the black and white cats named oreo, all the orange tabbies named tiger, all the grey cats named smokey, all the black cats named shadow, and all the calico cats named patches
how could i forget the white cats named snowball, shout out to all the white cats named snowball
all the ginger cats at the barn next door named Orangie.
shout out to all the black and white cats named oreo, all the orange tabbies named tiger, all the grey cats named smokey, all the black cats named shadow, and all the calico cats named patches
how could i forget the white cats named snowball, shout out to all the white cats named snowball
shout out to all the black and white cats named oreo, all the orange tabbies named tiger, all the grey cats named smokey, all the black cats named shadow, and all the calico cats named patches
how could i forget the white cats named snowball, shout out to all the white cats named snowball
mishaberryreblogs asked:
Tim has stubborn baby fat on his cheeks and everyone can't resist pinching and smooshing his face because he's just so darn cute. Because he's a perpetual teen, he still gets old ladies at galas and parties pinching his cheeks like he's 12. Even after he turns 21 he gets carded for ages because no one can believe he's of age. Dick is the worst for smushing his cheeks, "You're just too cute! I can't resist!" Tim; "Get off!"
swanqueenfeathers answered:
this ask is so cute i tried to write smthn but i felt i couldnt do it justice im quaking
Another drabble for @swanqueenfeathers
Tim felt it before it reached him; the disturbance in the air, making the hairs on the back of Tim’s neck stand up and his shoulders tense. Tim had a very short window to stop it, and he was certain he would only delay the inevitable.
“Dick, I swear to God if you pinch my cheeks again, you’re going to wake up without fingers.”
Dick huffed, his hands dropping from where they’d been poised to squish Tim’s cheeks like he wasn’t a 20 year old grown man, “Come on Timmy,” Dick wheedled, “Your cheeks are just too cute to resist.”
Tim turned in his seat and glared at his brother, “Try harder.”
Dick gave him a deadpan look, “You’re absolutely no fun,” he said, coming around to the other side of the couch and flopping down on it next to Tim.
Tim rolled his eyes and went back to skimming over his paperwork, “I get my cheeks pinched enough at galas, I don’t need to deal with it at home. I swear Mrs. Wellesley still thinks I’m twelve.” His cheeks ached just thinking about the acrylic nails on the ends of Gertrude Wellesley’s geriatric fingers.
“It’ll be a boon in a decade when you still look young and beautiful and everyone else is starting to get saggy and wrinkled,” Dick pointed out.
Tim blew out an annoyed breath, “I wouldn’t mind it so much if I wasn’t also so damn short.” He glared at Dick and aimed an elbow at his ribs, “Especially next to you guys. Tall ass mother fuckers.”
Dick laughed and dodged the elbow, “Five foot five is average height,” he pointed out.
“Yeah, but when you stand next to Bruce and Jason and you, it’s hard not to feel like a little kid. I barely come up passed Bruce’s chin,” Tim whined, throwing his head back over the back of the couch in despair.
“Damian is still shorter than you,” Dick said.
“Not for much longer,” Tim grumbled, “He’s going to be as big as Bruce in a couple of years and I’ve got no hope for growing much taller.”
“Aw, it’ll be okay Timmy,” Dick cooed, wrapping his arms around Tim and pulling him into a hug, “You’ve always been good at subverting expectations. You’ll show everyone that you’re a mature, competent adult no matter what people’s first impression of you is.”
Tim grumbled a little more, contemplating wiggling out of Dick’s grasp, but the man was a good hugger and Tim had been stressed anyway. He relaxed into the hold and was about to hug Dick back when he felt a touch on his cheek, followed by a gentle squeeze.
Feeling a seething rage well up in him, Tim turned and clamped his teeth down on the offending appendages, feeling vindicated when Dick yelped.
“You bit me!” Dick shrieked, dislodging his fingers from Tim’s teeth.
“Stop fucking pinching me!” Tim cried back, aiming his fists into Dick’s stomach, hoping to pummel a few internal organs before his asshole of an older brother managed to spirit himself away on those damnable long legs of his.
I want to thank not only god but also Jesus,
Anonymous asked:
but jealous baby dami tho, like dick will always love him so much so he's like yeah ok i have that one locked down, and jason is the fun factor so dami's like ok that one too, but timmy sometimes is more interested in what jason has to say or do and dami's like no n0 nO NO and demands timmy's attention or shoves jason away bc timmy's his tt excuse you jason
marbleaide answered:
THIS IS TOO CUTE
Teeny tiny Damian with a mental check list of making sure he’s the MOST LOVED IN THE FAMILY
Bruce– easy. Damian wakes up with him everyday and Damian eats his cheerios and fruit in his high chair while Bruce drinks his coffee and it’s just the two of them in the early morning and Damian seriously enjoys his time he gets with his dad alone.
Dick is probably the EASIEST of them all. Dick’s never had an actual toddler to dot on, so Damian totally soaks up the love and affection Dick gives him every single time they’re in the same room together. He’s like, the perfect big brother and always does airplane games with Damian and doesn’t mind so much when he keeps pulling his hair.
Jason is good. He’s essentially the best babysitter ever because he lets Damian do almost whatever he wants and Jason feeds him ice cream and sweets so Damian’s super cool with him. And Jason totally taught him how to pet Titus right so he doesn’t hurt/grab him too hard, so Damian’s like ‘yes, you are useful’
Cass is the best for nap time. She is the only one who he’ll actually let put him down for a nap because that is THEIR time together and Cass tells him stories that she just makes up and she’s always so quiet and gentle. Damian complains so much whenever Bruce tries to put him down for naps if Cass isn’t readily available and it usually ends with Damian staying up being grumpy until Cass does come home to put him to sleep.
Tim’s….more difficult. Tim’s the youngest of the older kids and doesn’t really know what to do with a toddler. He’s also the busiest with his own school work and friends so Damian constantly attacks him whenever Tim is home because everyone ELSE has paid attention to him today, so now it’s TIM’S turn. Except Tim is STILL BUSY with homework and Jason tries to scoop him up but Damian FREAK OUT and kicks at Jason and pounds at his chest and yells until he’s put down again and is allowed to crawl into Tim’s lap where he calms down and Tim just…sighs and takes it. It’s not actually bad, but Damian still tries to get Tim to forget about his homework and watch cartoons with him instead.
Please consider Cass Cain using those things you put on a pencil to help you hold it correctly.
And like. Steph probably buys her cute ones shaped like animals and stuff? And then she decides that they’re too cute to go on a regular pencil so she buys Cass a bunch of colorful, patterned pencils too, and then just for the heck of it she buys her some of those erasers that are shaped like food and animals and junk.
But Cass ends up treasuring that shit like nothing else. She absolutely has an entire compartment in her utility belt for all the pencils and erasers, and Steph thinks it’s adorable. Black Bat (or Batgirl, whoever Cass is at the time idk) uses them whenever possible, and pretty soon the whole batfam knows about her pencil/grip/eraser collection.
So it ends up being a Thing. Dick buys her erasers literally every time he sees them at the store, Dami gets her a set shaped like cats, Tim finds her a ballet slipper eraser and even Jason chips in and gets her one that looks like a gun (it’s one of the ones that comes apart too, so it has a barrel that comes out and everything.)
And then of course Bruce has to one up everyone and literally has WE start producing superhero erasers. There’s one for everyone in the justice league, and one for all the bats, so Cass ends up with eraser versions of herself, and her family. She keeps them lined up on her window sill, and the Black Bat and Spoiler ones are set so they look like they’re holding hands :)
And that is how Cass Cain ended up with a eraser collection :D
#I know this is probably an exotic pet but this is too cute
had to dig through this persons facebook BUT this lady is a veterinarian who hand reared this guy when his mom rejected him as a kitten(due to being a neglected exotic pet), right now she’s slowly training him to handle being around other servals so he can move to a new home at the local zoo.
she contantly emphasizes that as adorable as this guy is she’s a professional caring for a rehab animal and that theyre not pets. no need 4 guilt yay
I am always appreciative of this kind of good background info so I can safely enjoy cute animals without inadvertently supporting exotic pet ownership. c: